From the Archives: Where's Your Smile?

I dug this out of my archives.  I wrote this in December 2010 after a conversation I had with my then 11 year old son, Noah.

It is a great reminder to savor the moments that truly matter.  I pray that it ministers to your heart and encourages you during this blessed Christmas season to smile, smile, smile!

Merry Christmas!

❤ Lisa

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Where’s Your Smile?

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.

~Author Unknown

Why don’t you smile much?

I’m trying to wake up.

I know but you don’t smile much even when you’re not waking up.

This was a conversation I had with my son, Noah, yesterday.  Immediately that green character popped into my head.  You know the one.  The Grinch!  Is that what I’ve become in the busyness of my days?  Not smiling?  Grumpy?  Just like the Grinch?  Is this really how I want to lead my family into the Christmas season?  These are the questions that rolled through my mind after Noah, in his sweet way, asked a simple question.

I am a self-confessed Martha.  This is not an excuse, it’s who I am and I know it.  I am always so focused on what needs to be done and making sure that it’s done right.  I’m always doing 500 things at one time.  As I thought about what Noah said, I realized that in my busyness I’m not enjoying what’s going on around me.  I’m so focused on the tasks at hand that I don’t take in what’s going on.  Tragic!

Imagine if Mary, the mother of Jesus, was that way.  What would she have missed if she were cleaning up the stable, washing their dusty clothes from the long journey to Bethlehem, cooking and baking for the guests that came to visit them after Jesus was born and making handmade birth announcements to send to her relatives?  She would have missed it all. 

She would have missed a cold, clear night made brilliant by a glorious star, the company of shepherds who came, the smell of incense and wise men falling to their knees in adoration of the sweet baby, the incarnation of perfect love.  She would have missed all the blessings surrounding the greatest moment in her life.

In Luke 2:19, Luke tells us this about Mary, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  She treasured and pondered.  Hmmm.  She actually took the time to stop and take in all that was happening around her right in that moment.  She was blessed, and she knew it!  And, I bet she was smiling!  How could she not?

If Mary took time to stop and take in that which was going on around her, why don’t I?  Why does it take my son to ask me why I’m not smiling for me to realize that I’m not noticing all the blessings around me?  Why do I find it more important to “get things done” than to “treasure and ponder”?  What have I been missing because I’m so busy with “tasks at hand”?  I believe that I’m missing quite a bit. 

I would like to encourage you to take the time to treasure and ponder all the Lord has given you.  I know that I will be doing that.

Don’t let the busyness of the season and everyday life cloud your view of what the Lord has blessed you with.  As you see the lights on your Christmas tree, let that serve as a reminder that your blessings most certainly outnumber those lights.  

The Lord is so good to us.  Let’s show all those around us that we know it by our smiles!

Christmas: What's On The Menu?

Our son, Noah, plays on the worship team at church.  He'll be playing at both the Christmas Eve {Saturday} and Christmas Day {Sunday} services this year.  So, we've had to tweak our weekend a little bit.

We're actually doing our Christmas Day morning festivities on Christmas Eve {Saturday}.  So, I'll make breakfast, we'll open our presents and enjoy a relaxing day.  We'll have Christmas Eve dinner mid-afternoon so there'll be plenty of time for us all to get to church.

Christmas Day, Scott will take Noah to be to church early for practice, and then we'll {my mom, Sarah and I} will follow.  So, there won't be time for a nice, big breakfast.  Everyone will basically fend for themselves.  We'll have Christmas Day dinner mid-afternoon after my sister and her family arrive.  I'm looking forward to having dinner early and then spending the rest of the day opening presents, enjoying each other's company and having dessert.

Here's what will be on the menu on Saturday and Sunday!  I'm really happy with what I've come up with.  I hope everything turns out great, and that everyone likes what's being served.

Merry Christmas to you all!! 

Christmas Eve

Breakfast

Frittata {I always make a breakfast casserole for Christmas morning.  It has bread, eggs, breakfast sausage, cheese, milk and butter in it.  Yeah...that's not happening this year.  As I was trying to think of something similar I could do, a quiche came to mind.  However, they're not very healthy, and the healthier ones I didn't really like what was out there.  So, I thought some more, and a frittata came to mind.  I found this great source on making frittats here:  http://www.epicurious.com/expert-advice/ultimate-easy-frittata-recipe-article.  I'm planning on making it with green & red peppers, onions, tomatoes and mushrooms...and no cheese.  I'll use coconut oil in place of the oil and rice milk.}

Fruit {apples, oranges, pears, grapes}

Beverages {lemon water, green or herbal tea, orange juice and coffee [the last two for my family]}

Dinner

Italian Style Flounder: {I made this recipe last week, and my family loved it.  I thought it would make a great addition to our traditional Italian Christmas Eve.  Here's the recipe: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/42931/italian-style-flounder/.  I will use coconut oil in place of the butter.}

15-Minute Skinny Shrimp Scampi:  {I always make a shrimp scampi but the recipe is not very healthy.  I came across this healthier version: http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/15-minute-skinny-shrimp-scampi-recipe/.  I will use coconut oil in place of the butter.}

Green Beans {Steamed and seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic powder.  Everyone can add margarine or butter, if they like.  I usually add a squeeze of lemon to mine.}

Brown Rice {I have organic long grain brown rice.  It cooks beautifully in our rice cooker!}

Beverages {lemon water & green or herbal tea}

Christmas Day

Dinner

Baked Ham {I bought a Smithfield in-bone spiral ham.  I will omit the glaze that comes in the package.}

My Mom's Antipasto Salad {This salad is a meal in itself.  My mom made this for every holiday we had.  I tweaked it a little bit...but not much.  I'll be putting the following in the salad:  spring mix lettuce [mom used romaine, curly chicory and red leaf lettuces...I'm going with the spring mix for ease...it's cut down, washed and ready to go.], carrots [I found a bag of shredded...another bonus!], radishes [I found a package match sticks cut...nice!], tomatoes [I'll use grape tomatoes], cucumbers, celery, red onion, roasted red peppers, chickpeas, black olives, pepperoni and provolone.  Mom also put in red cabbage, I'm omitting that.  I'm not planning on eating the pepperoni and provolone, but will savor the rest of this gorgeous salad!}

Garlicky Roasted Broccoli  {I wanted a different type of vegetable than just steamed or boiled.  I found this recipe at http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-garlicky-roasted-broccoli-quick-side-dish-recipes-from-the-kitchn-199310.  It looks amazing, and I can make it ahead and just warm it up when we're ready for it.}

Brown Rice

Beverages {lemon water, green or herbal tea, sparkling white grape juice and Juicy Juice fruit punch [the last two for my family]}

Dessert

Fruit {apples, oranges, pears, grapes}

Coconut Brownies {I wanted to have some sort of dessert that didn't seem "healthy".  My nutrionist's assistant told me that if there was something I wanted but it wasn't close to the plan, I could have a little bit of it and just savor it.  So, that's what I'm going to do with this.  I have to always watch when I'm baking to make sure the recipe doesn't have dairy or nuts in it because my kids have allergies to them.  I don't even remember how I came across this recipe, but when I saw it it sounded really good to me.  Here's the recipe:  http://allrecipes.com/recipe/234882/gluten-free-dairy-free-coconut-brownies/?internalSource=hub%20recipe&referringContentType=search%20results&clickId=cardslot%2016}

Sugar Cookies {Sarah and I baked them from a dairy-free, nut-free mix.  She rolled them in red and green sprinkles.  So cute!}

Beverages {lemon water, green or herbal tea, coffee and hot chocolate [the last two for my family]}

Days 10 & 11: Operation HOPE

Days 10 and 11 are done!!  Both days were fine food wise {pretty easy, actually}, but physically I've been hurting and hobbling through the last two days.  My pain level is high and unbearable tonight.  I needed to take pain meds again tonight.  I live with pain every day, but when it gets like this I just don't know what to do with myself.  *sigh*

I'm so looking forward to celebrating Christmas this weekend with my family and having Scott home half day tomorrow and all day on Monday, but will be glad to have all the running, shopping, wrapping, cleaning and extra cooking behind me.  I know that once that happens, I'll get some down time and rest...which I absolutely need to heal.

I will be taking some time off from blogging in order to finish getting ready for Christmas, focus on my family, and most of all, focus on the true reason for the season...J-E-S-U-S!

I will post my Christmas Eve and Christmas Day menus tonight so you can see what we'll be having this weekend.  I'm actually proud of all I found to make this Christmas as festive as possible.  I was having a very hard time not planning our traditional Italian fare.  But, I want to feel better more that I want all that stuff.

My prayer for you is that you will be blessed tremendously during this Christmas season and in the new year; that you will find yourself surrounded by your loving family and friends; and, that you know and feel the presence of Jesus always in your life.

Merry, Merry Christmas!!

Day 9: Operation HOPE

Today was a pretty uneventful day.  I'm still VERY tired and hurting a lot.

I was trying to figure out today why I'm so blah.  This has been going on since Sunday.  The fact that I'm tired could be playing a role in that.  I also thought that last week I was really running on a lot of adrenaline with starting this program.  Even though I'm still very thankful and happy to be doing this program, I'm not as excited as I was last week.  And, I don't mean that negatively, it's just the simple fact.  The "newness" of the whole thing is done.  I'm establishing a routine, I know what's expected and I know {pretty much} what I need to do.  I'm down to the nitty gritty of work...the meat and bones of the process.

I love Christmas and everything that goes along with it.  But, having it smack dab in the middle of this process is hard.  Not from a food stand point, but rather from a busyness stand point.  I have so much to do in such little time.  I'm trying to breathe and slow down in all I'm doing and need to do so that I can savor this time.

Tomorrow is day ten...that's just crazy!  Can't believe it.  Sleep first...then day ten!

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Day 9: Menu

Breakfast was two hard boiled eggs with one slice of turkey bacon, green tea and lemon water.  One word...YUM-O!!

Lunch was spaghetti squash with meat sauce, green tea and lemon water.  I was able to freeze 5-6 servings of this from last week.  I liked it so much better today than I did last week.  I think it was because it sat together and "marinated" while it was in the freezer.  I also realized today that I didn't add salt and pepper last week, so I did that.  It was really good and really filling.

Dinner was chili with avocado, salad, green tea, lemon water and four ounces of wine.  This is probably mine and my family's favorite dinner meal.  It's so good, and so amazing how healthy it is.  I could hardly finish the salad.  I wound up having a detox tea in place of the green tea.  In place of the four ounces of wine, I had Enjoy Life dark chocolate.  So. Good!!

Snacks were an apple and raw veggies with hummus.

Day 8: Operation HOPE

Rough day.  *sigh*  Really rough day.  My day began at 5:45 a.m., and just stopped now at 7:25 p.m.  Today was filled with cooking, cooking and more cooking, running errands, food shopping, cleaning, wrapping presents, doing a history project with Sarah.

I woke up exhausted and hurting from head to toe.  The pain got worse as the day went on.  I actually had to take pain medicine today.  And, I've been very weepy today {not sure why}.

Now that I'm done with week one, I'm able to mix and match my menus.  I tried mixing and matching.  For some reason it was hard for me to do that.  Tomorrow I'm going to just do all the meals that I had on day four.  I liked day four's meals; and, they were pretty easy.

Another struggle I had was I was out through lunch time today.  I had already had my snack and drank all my "to go" herbal tea that I brought with me.  I was hungry...and then frustrated.  Frustrated because I was hungry and knew that I couldn't eat anything until I got home for lunch.  Frustrated because I couldn't just grab a quick something.  This was the first time I've had to deal with that.  I know it won't be the last.

This day was hard.  No getting around it.  Yet, even though it was hard, there were so many blessings to be thankful for today:  Sunshine.  Mailbox full of greetings from family and friends.  Christmas music.  Chocolate.  Staying on track.  Great herbal tea to savor.  Helpful children.  Understanding and compassionate husband.  Adorable puppy.  Christmas movies.  Warm home.

All of these things bring a smile to my face and lighten my heart.  These are the things I will dwell on as this day comes to a close.  Tomorrow is day nine.  Today will be in the past.  And, that is where it will stay.

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Day 8: Menu

Breakfast was a veggie omelet with peppers, onions and mushrooms, green tea and lemon water.  One of my favorite breakfasts!

Lunch was a huge salad with 4 ounces of chicken, topped with oil & vinegar, green tea and lemon water.  Another favorite.  Quick.  Easy.  Filling!

Dinner was a 4 ounce piece of chicken with veggies, steamed vegetables, herbal tea {trying not to have green tea in the evening}, lemon water and dark chocolate {in place of wine}.  I made the chicken in a foil packet topped with peppers, onions, mushrooms and garlic.  I dotted the chicken with coconut oil, and after I placed the veggies on top I sprinkled balsamic vinegar over top.  Oh my!  This was good!  I had more steamed veggies on the side {leftover green beans, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower}.  They were good, too.  The herbal tea I had was from Celestial Seasonings holiday tea "Cranberry Vanilla Wonderland".  AH-MAZ-ING!!  And, the Enjoy Life dark chocolate was AWESOME!  I will always have that on hand!  ❤ Thanks Lauren for leading me to this wonderful treat!❤

Snacks were an apple and a KIND bar.

Day 7: Operation HOPE

One week DONE!!  {Insert Snoopy happy dance!!}

Today was a blah day.  No real reason.  Just feeling blah.  Food plan was fine.  Pain has been consistent throughout the day.  Exhaustion has gotten the best of me today.  Just plain t-i-r-e-d!

I saw this quote today, "Being in pain 24/7 takes it out of you not just physically but mentally and emotionally.  It literally drags you down more and more, the worst thing about it is, it's never going away."  This is so true in many ways.  After I read it, I thought, "Yeah, but, in my case I have HOPE that this pain will go away!"  Thank you, Lord!

Tomorrow I begin week two.  From week two through four I will be customizing my menus based on this past week.  So, I can mix and match, pick my favorites and have more of a say in what I have.  I'm super excited about this because I can leave the more in depth recipes/meals to days that I have more time; and, choose the easier meals for days that I have a lot going on.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the end of week 2.  I'm a little sad because I won't be able to do our traditional Italian Christmas Eve and Christmas Day food, but I know that this is just a season and I have to do what I have to do.  I'm planning on cooking for both days, and I do plan on eating with my family...or should I say that my family is going to eat with me.  I ran a few menu ideas for those days by my nutritionist's assistant, and she okay-ed every one of them.  She did say, "If in doubt just eat a small amount of something and savor it, and then get right back on board the next day!"  I love this!  I'm going to keep you in suspense what I'm going to make until the end of the week, though.  Partly because I love surprises & want to keep you in suspense; and partly because I'm not done figuring out exactly what I'm going to do.  I do know that Christmas Eve we'll be having fish, and Christmas Day won't be the traditional Italian fare that we normally have.

Looking forward to what week two brings, especially for Christmas!  But for now...I must sleep!

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Day 7: Menu

Breakfast was a vegetable omelet {with peppers, onions and mushrooms}, green tea and lemon water.  This is my type of breakfast.  I love eggs, especially omelets.  So, this was a winner!

Lunch was a turkey burger with mild green chilies {mixed into the meat}, romaine lettuce to act as the bun, red onion and tomato to top the burger, a small salad with oil & vinegar, green tea and lemon water.  I pan fried the burger in a little coconut oil.  Oh. My. Goodness!!  It was good!  Would have liked to have the chilies stand out a little more, though.  But, all in all, this was a winner, too!

Dinner was 4 ounces of shrimp, steamed or sauteed vegetables, small salad, green tea and lemon water.  I made another amazing recipe tonight.  It was Lemon-Garlic Shrimp and Vegetables.  The veggies were asparagus and red & green bell peppers sauteed in coconut oil with lemon zest and salt & pepper.  Once I did that, I sauteed the shrimp with garlic in coconut oil.  Made a sauce with 1/2 cup white cooking wine and 1/2 cup vegetable broth with 1-1/2 teaspoons of cornstarch whisked into it.  Poured it over the shrimp...cooked for another 2-3 minutes until it thickened.  Served it over the vegetables.  W-O-W!!  This was amazing!!  I was so full that I couldn't eat the salad!

Snacks were an apple and a KIND bar.

Day 6: Operation HOPE

Day 6 is D.O.N.E.  Whoo Hoo!!  I cannot believe that I'm almost a week into this new lifestyle.  At times it feels like it's been forever, and at other times it feels like it's only been 6 days.  I can honestly say that it's not as hard from a food stand point as I thought it would be.  It helps tremendously that I'm 98% of the time very satisfied.

I've made some adjustments to the caffeinated green tea issue.  I'm trying to have it for breakfast and lunch only, and have an herbal tea for dinner.  Also, when I go out I make a travel mug of herbal tea to drink while I'm out and about.  This has helped calm me down a bit.  Thank you, Lord!

I did realized today that I feel alert and feel like I have more energy.  Joy abounded again today, and my smile and laughter continued.  In addition to the great nutrition, I'm taking 5000mcg of B12 twice a day, which I think is definitely helping in this area.  My mom noticed a difference in my demeanor, and Scott told me last night that it's been nice seeing me smile again.  These two compliments meant the world to me because of all the people in the world, they're the ones who have seen me at my absolute worse.  Thank you, Lord, for showing me and those I love these small {but huge} changes!

I can report that when I woke up this morning I noticed that my pajama pants, that used to "just fit", were a little loose and baggy.  Whoo Hoo!!  Now, mind you, I'm not doing this to get "skinny" {although that's a plus}.  I'm doing this to get healthy and get out of this oppressive pain.

Speaking of pain...yup...it's still here.  With. A. Vengeance. Tonight.  My back is screaming.  My hands, wrists and elbows are killing me.  My shoulders and neck are hurting.  My legs and feet are aching and sore.  So, this is why I'm doing this. This pain has got to go!

Tomorrow is Day 7...but I must sleep first!

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Day 6: Menu

Breakfast was a little weird.  I had to eat three different fruits every 1-1/2 to 2 hours apart.  I started with a whole grapefruit at 7 a.m., then 1 cup of grapes at 9 a.m. and an apple at 11 a.m.  I had no idea why except that's what the menu said.  Of course, I also had to have green tea and lemon water.  Nothing about this was hard at all, except watching the time from 7-11 a.m.  And, I really didn't even watch the time.  I set a timer!  So, it really wasn't hard.  Remember earlier this week when I said I really didn't like grapefruit.  Well, today I crossed over from dislike to like.  I totally enjoyed that whole grapefruit.

Lunch was a cup of the hour plus vegetable soup I made on Day 3 and a green salad with oil and vinegar, plus green tea and lemon water.  Nothing hard about this either.  I defrosted a package of soup this morning {I was able to freeze 6-7 1 cup packages of the soup on Day 3.  A bonus for all that hard work!}.  All I had to do was warm it up and then put some mixed greens & baby spinach in a bowl, and top it with oil and vinegar.  It all was so good, and so filling.  Oh, and so easy!

Dinner was 4 ounces of chicken, steamed vegetables, green tea and lemon water.  I made an awesome braised balsamic chicken with fresh onions, tomatoes, garlic, basil.  It was awesome!  The vegetables were whole green beans seasoned with a little salt and pepper.  I also spooned some of the balsamic sauce on the beans.  So. Stinkin'. Good!!

Snack was raw veggies with hummus.  I never got around to having this snack, and honestly didn't miss it.

Day 5: Operation HOPE

{Day 5: December 16, 2016...I didn't get a chance to post this from yesterday.}

You know the saying, "No rest for the weary"?  Well, don't believe it.  I'm here to tell you that there most certainly is rest for the weary.  I took a melatonin last night, slept well and woke refreshed.  I also didn't have any thing to do this morning but prepare breakfast and sip a cup of tea.  Glorious!  I spent the remainder of my morning listening to Christmas music and working on various things on my computer.  Ahhh...now that's more like it!

Although I was busy, it wasn't like the last two days.  I felt rested, less stressed and my spirits were up.  The pain was bearable.  The pain is mostly in my back, legs and hands/wrists.  I'm trying not to take the pain medications as I have to crush them and take them with applesauce {which isn't part of the plan}.  And, I'm trying not put any unnecessary medications in my body.

I think the green tea was what was causing me not to settle down yesterday.  I was able to space it out and switch out green tea later in the day with herbal {decaf} tea.  I looked in the store today for decaf green tea with mint, but had no luck finding it.  I'm going to keep looking because that by far is my most favorite green tea.

I found dark chocolate without soy!!  {Insert Snoopy happy dance!}  My dear, sweet cousin in California messaged me after reading my post yesterday and told me that Enjoy Life has the best dark chocolate without soy.  I went to their site, but they were all out of stock.  So, I went to Amazon.com to see if they had it.  They did, but I would have had to buy a 12 pack for $30+ dollars.  I told my cousin that I would have to try going to a health food store to see if they carried it.  I happened to run to Stop & Shop for my mom yesterday, and the thought came to mind to see if they carried dark chocolate without soy.  Not only did they carry dark chocolate without soy, they had the exact Enjoy Life dark chocolate my cousin told me about.  And, the best part, it was on sale for $1.82!!  I snatched up 4 bars to try.  Now, I just have to wait for a day that calls for a 4 ounce glass of wine to try it!

I ended my day with going to a beautiful Christmas party at my church.  I participated in a secret prayer partner program this year, and last night was the reveal.  It was a sweet time of fellowship and conversation.  I was so happy to be able to go.  I saved a KIND bar snack and herbal tea to bring with me to eat.  I honestly was pretty full from supper when I got there, so the food they served wasn't really a problem.  Although, I do have to say the chicken wings smelled amazing!

I would be lying if I said this day was hard.  It really wasn't.  I was rested when I got up.  The day, although busy from start to finish, was stress free and doable.  I found my heart filled with joy.

Joy that it was an easier day.  Joy that this nutrition program is feeding my body and soul.  Joy that I smiled and laughed more today than I have in a long, long time.  Joy that Scott and the kids are my biggest cheerleaders.  Joy that my amazing family and friends are praying for me, encouraging me and sending me awesome dark chocolate tips!  Joy because I just plain and simple feel joyful!

To God be the glory great things He has done!

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Day 5: Menu

Breakfast was a half of grapefruit, a hard boiled egg, green tea {but I had Detox tea} and lemon water.  Everything I had this morning was great!  No complaints!!

Lunch was a huge salad with mixed greens, baby spinach, broccoli, carrots, bell peppers, cucumbers, 4 ounces of chicken and a half of an avocado with oil & vinegar dressing, green tea and lemon water.  This salad was A-MAZ-ING!  It was filling and so good.  No complaints with this meal either!!

Dinner was tilapia, steamed broccoli, cauliflower & carrots, 4 ounces brown rice, green tea and lemon water.  Tilapia was good.  I liked it better today than I did on Monday.  The vegetables were good.  I squeezed lemon over them and added a little salt, pepper & garlic powder.  I wasn't crazy about the cauliflower but I ate most of it.  And, the rice was perfectly made in our new rice cooker that we bought this week.  All I did was add a little salt and pepper to it.  It was good!  Three for three...no complaints {other than the cauliflower}!

Snacks were two KIND bars.  I absolutely LOVE these bars.  One was almond & apricot, and the other was dark chocolate with cinnamon and pecans.  DANG...just thought I'm going to need to make sure there is no soy on that dark chocolate one since I bought a 12-pack of them.  {It does have soy in it...but I'm not going to worry about it.  I'll just be sure to spread those out over time and use them for special occasion, treats.}

Day 4: Operation HOPE

Well...Day 4 is done!  By the grace of God and His strength I got through.  This was another rough day...really rough.  Not rough by a food standpoint but rather from a physical one.

I realized today that my struggle is this:

My Broken Body + My Extremely Busy, Everyday Life + Getting Ready For Christmas - all while trying to stick to this strict nutrition plan.  I feel like one of those people who have tons of plates on poles, and they try to keep them all spinning at the same time.  It's just C-R-A-Z-Y!!

I knew last week looking this plan over that it wouldn't be easy, but I said I would do anything and anything I will do.  However, I never expected the level of fatigue and pain I would be in.  I've been pushing myself more than I have in a long time; and, I've been on my feet more than I have in a long time.

I meant what I said...I'll do anything to be out of this pain.  I'm committed to this drastic change in my lifestyle and nutrition.  I know that the pain isn't going to go away overnight because this journey of pain has been going on for years.  It's going to take time to reverse.  I know that...I know that.  *sigh*

I had a very hard time settling down today.  My brain wouldn't shut off.  I was all over the place.  Running from one thing to another.  I have a feeling it might be all the green tea I've had to consume.  I need to run to the store tomorrow, so I'm going to see if I can find a decaf mint green tea {my favorite green tea}.

In all this uncomfortable, crazy hard there is hope for my weary soul.  For without hope I have nothing.  My hope is that this process will eventually become like second nature to me.  My hope is that this drastic change to my nutrition will one day heal my broken, weary body.  My hope is that I may be an encouragement to others walking the same hard road.  My hope is that when people see my weaknesses, they see Jesus's strength, for without Him there is no way I'd ever get through.  My hope is that I never, ever lose hope.

Sleep now...then Day 5.

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Day 4: Menu

Breakfast was two hard boiled eggs, turkey bacon, lemon water and green tea.  Loved, loved, loved everything about this breakfast.  This is my type of breakfast.  Eggs and bacon.  Who wouldn't love that?!?  

Lunch was spaghetti squash, homemade meat sauce, lemon water and green tea.  Loved the meat sauce.  I used 93% lean beef for the first time, and a jarred sauce {which was allowed by the plan} that didn't have any additives or preservatives...just good 'ol whole food.  It. Was. So. Good.  I wasn't crazy about the spaghetti squash but I ate it.

Dinner was chili with black beans topped with avocado, lemon water, green tea, small green salad, steamed vegetables, 4 ounce glass of red wine.  The chili was A-MAZ-ING!  I couldn't eat the salad and vegetables.  I was full after the chili and avocado.  I'm not a wine drinker, so I asked my nutritionist's assistant if I could replace the wine with dark chocolate.  She said I could but I need to find one that doesn't contain soy.  So, I'll be doing that ASAP and replacing the wine with the chocolate on the days the menu calls for it.

Snacks were a pear and raw vegetables, each with lemon water.  The pear was great!  I haven't had a pear in ages.  I actually wasn't hungry for the raw veggies so I didn't have them.

Day 3: Operation HOPE

Put a fork in me...I am done with Day 3!

This was a very hard day...very hard.

*sigh*

Breakfast was steal cut oatmeal, 1 teaspoon of 100% organic maple syrup, green tea and lemon water.  Okay, no one told me that it would take 35 minutes to make this oatmeal.  And, no I didn't think to look at the directions before this morning at 6:00 a.m. when I was going to make it for both me and Noah.  I mean come on...who takes 35 minutes to make oatmeal?!?  Well, apparently the Irish do because upon further review of the package it said these oats are "Irish Style".  Erin Go Bragh!  So, needless to say, Noah had instant oatmeal because by the time I would have finished cooking the Irish oats he would have had to leave for Vo-Tech.  I did make them for Sarah and I after Noah left.  We did enjoy them with maple syrup and a little cinnamon.

Breakfast down...breathe...

Now onto lunch.

Lunch was a beautiful vegetable soup topped with diced avocado, an orange, green tea and lemon water.  Directions said that it would take 19 minutes to cook this beautiful soup.  However, what the directions didn't say was that it would take me over 40 minutes to prep all the vegetables that needed to go into this beautiful soup.  Seriously...40 minutes of chopping, dicing, and slicing!!  I started prepping around 11:35 a.m., and didn't sit down to eat until 12:45 p.m.  Really??

Lunch done...breathe...breathe...breathe... (Yes...I needed that extra breath after this.)

Thank heavens there's only one more meal to go...dinner.

Dinner was flounder, green beans and lemon water.  I also made brown rice for my family in our new rice cooker {just purchased today}.  I got an fantastic recipe for the flounder from a friend of mine.  (Recipe found here: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/12715/fish-fillets-italiano/).  I omitted the black olives and used coconut oil and fresh tomatoes.  It was absolutely delicious.  Everyone ate it and loved it.  The green beans were good.  Wished I could have had a little butter on them...but a little salt, pepper, garlic powder and lemon juice made them edible.  Scott and the kids said that the rice was great.  It wasn't on the menu for me tonight.

Dinner done.

This day was hard...period.  Just. Plain. Hard.

Hard because every ounce of my body is hurting.  Hard because I was just as busy today as I was yesterday...running errands, schooled Sarah {we homeschool our kids}, phone calls to make and return, computer work that needed to be done, a new puppy to take care of, three full meals to make from scratch.  Hard because the prep time for all these meals was just absolutely unreal to me.  Hard because every ounce of my body is hurting.  {I know I said that already...but that is just how much I'm hurting.}  Hard because I broke down and cried three times today.

*sigh*

But in the hard, I chose joy.

Joy that we got a new rice cooker so I don't have to stand at the stove babysitting brown rice that takes 45-60 minutes to cook.  Joy that I have all this great food to put in my body...and it really tastes good {except for the tofu}.  Joy that I have a wellness center who is telling me exactly what I need to do.  Joy because my sweet son and daughter did everything they could to help me and lift my spirits when I was at my wits end.  Joy because my husband listened as I belly ached about all the hard.  Joy that my family is embracing this lifestyle change with me...without complaint.  Joy that I have amazing family and friends who are cheering me on.

I am so glad to see Day 3 done!  So. Glad.

Now, first sleep.  Then Day 4.

Day 2: Operation HOPE

Well...I made it through Day 2 of Operation HOPE (Hold On Pain Ends)!!  Whoo Hoo!!

Just like yesterday, I woke with my alarm at 6:00 a.m.  My first though was the same as yesterday, "Okay, Lord. Let's do this."  This is going to become my prayer every morning.  It's short, sweet and right to the point.  It does my heart good to know that I'm not doing this on my own strength, but that the Lord is literally coming beside me and helping through every pace of my day.

Breakfast for today was lemon water, green tea, a hard boiled egg, and the dreaded grapefruit (I'm not a grapefruit girl).   Loved the egg...and you know what the grapefruit was actually not that bad. 

Lunch was another big salad with 4 oz. of chicken and avocados with a dressing of oil and vinegar, and more lemon water.  Loved, loved everything about this salad!!

Snacks of grapes and a KIND bar got me through a couple of hunger pangs during the day.  So glad I had these snacks today...so glad!

Dinner was the dreaded vegetable and tofu stir fry with lemon water.  The vegetables were amazingly awesome.  The tofu...not so much!  I literally spit it out into my napkin.  It was G-R-O-S-S!!  However, my 10 year old daughter and husband liked it.  Go figure.

It's now almost 8:45 p.m., and I'm ending my day with a cup of vanilla chamomile tea.  Two nights in a row I've had a cup of tea and totally enjoyed that.  Before this, I can't remember the last time I've relaxed and enjoyed a cup of tea.  I'm so glad that I'm being forced to relax at the end of the day with a cup of tea.  I sure can get used to this!

And, amazingly, just like yesterday, I'm not hungry at all, and feel very satisfied.  I'm so thankful for that.

This second day wasn't bad...but it was hard.

Hard because I was very busy today, and had to make conscious decisions to do what I needed to do to stay on track.  Hard because I had to spend around 3+ hours in the kitchen during my busy, run around day.  Hard because I've been battling a headache, pain in my neck, back, hands, arms and legs today.  Hard because I had to eat tofu.

In the hard, I had a peace.

Peace that God is carrying me and giving me strength through all the hard.  Peace in the busy.  Peace that this whole food plan will be a balm to my weary, broken body {I know I said this yesterday, but it's So. Very. True.}. Peace that I have HOPE...hope that there will be an end to this pain {I know I said this yesterday, too, but it's So. Very. True.}.

I'm committed to this process.  My eyes are on my prize...to be healthy and pain-free.

Day 3...watch out!  Here I come!

Day 1: Operation HOPE

I've been on a 4+ year journey of lots of pain, lots of procedures, lots of appointments, lots of tears, lots of waiting, lots of medications, lots of frustration.  On Tuesday, 12/6/16, I found hope. Hope that all these "lots" will one day be behind me.

 I met with a nutritionist who understood all I have been through and what is going on in my body.  He feels that he can help me reverse this terrible pain that I've been in.  He cautioned me, though, that it wouldn't be easy.  That there would be a lot of changes that I would need to make.  He did, very optimistically, say that if I did everything he instructed me to do, I could start to see a decrease in my pain in as little as 2-3 months.

OK. YES. SIGN ME UP!!

It all sounded great as we were talking, but once I got home and realized what his plan for this pain free life was...well...I sort of freaked out!  And the more I looked through the plan, the more freaked out I became.

How will I shop for all this stuff?  How will I prepare all this stuff?  Tofu...is he kidding?  Ugh...fish...I can't eat fish...I hate fish.  Brown rice that has to cook for 45 minutes?  Seriously?  Oh my gosh...I have to cook EVERYTHING...like three times a day cooking!  Who does that?!?

Can we say "panic attack"?!?  I had a major panic attack sitting there weeding through pages of the plan for my pain free life.

I had quite a few meltdowns from that meeting until yesterday, lots of stink-thinking and many tears before today. Just ask my husband and children.  It was not pretty.

Once I came to my senses, I realized that this is what I would have to do if I want to finally feel better.  Mind you, I said "have to do" not "want to do". Seriously, who wants to start a nutrition plan two weeks before Christmas?  NOT. ME.  But, I did say on Tuesday that I would do ANYTHING to rid my body of this awful, constant pain, and I needed to stay true to my word.

So, with that, I pulled on my big girl panties and began thinking about all that transpired from Tuesday until yesterday.  And as I was thinking, this phrase popped into my head:

 "Nothing will taste as good as healthy will feel".

Hmmm...nothing will taste as good as healthy will feel.  I let that sink in and marinate for a bit.  I came to the realization that it really doesn't matter if I like anything on this plan because being pain free and healthy is going to feel so much better.  It is the end result that I need to stay focused on...a healthy, pain-free life!  That is the goal...the prize!

I totally believe that the Lord placed that phrase and thoughts in my mind to wake me up.  It was the motivation that I needed, and He knew that.  Isn't that just like the Lord?  Once I heard and understood that phrase, I was ready to get to work.

Armed with my go to phrase, I started "Operation HOPE" (Hold On Pain Ends) today. I woke with my alarm at 6:00 a.m.  Placed my feet on the ground, and prayed, "Okay, Lord. Let's do this." And, do this we did!

I need to start everyday with 8 oz. of lemon water.  Not a bad start.

Breakfast for today was a veggie omelet, green tea and another 8 oz. of lemon water.  Okay...I can do that.

Lunch was a big salad with 4 oz. of tuna. Not crazy about the tuna with oil & vinegar...but got through it just fine.

Snacks of an apple and KIND bar rounded out my busy day.  Yum...and YUM-O!!

Dinner was baked tilapia, steamed broccoli and a small salad.  Again, not crazy about the tilapia (I'm not a fish girl) but got through it just fine.

And, now I'm enjoying a "Winter Spice" herbal tea as I write this blog.

I'm not hungry, and feel very satisfied.  Praise God!

This first day was not terrible...but it was hard.

Hard because I still hurt literally all over my body. Hard because there was a lot to do and prepare. Hard because I wasn't sure I was going to like everything I needed to eat today. Hard because my emotions are all over the place.

But, in the hard, I had a peace.

Peace that I was doing the right thing. Peace that God has me. Peace that this whole food plan will be a balm to my weary, broken body. Peace that I have HOPE...hope that there will be an end to this pain.

By God's grace, my prize, "Hold On Pain Ends" is just around the corner!