Day 285: Operation HOPE...Sprinkles of Hope

Last Tuesday, September 12th, I posted the following on my Facebook page:  "I know...I've been quiet lately. No better & symptoms have worsened in the last 1-2 weeks. Meeting with my nutritionist this morning to dial in where to go from here. Definitely need to meet with a Lyme's specialist...just need to pick the right one...and trust God for the finances to go {they do not take insurance}. Would you please pray with me for the Lord's wisdom, direction, provision of funds and peace in this? I know He's able to do more than I could ever imagine.  I am expectantly waiting. I am hopeful."

I did meet with my nutritionist that day, and there were an array of scenarios we were looking at.  I needed to wait to hear from him to see which way we were going.

It's truly amazing to me how in a little over a week's time I can go from "expectantly waiting" and "hopeful" to "impatiently waiting" and "hopeless".

Yesterday was not a good day at all. As the day went on, things were quickly spinning out of control.  I was getting frustrated with waiting for answers; and, when the answers came I wasn't very happy with them.  My pain was through the roof {and I had been dealing with this type of pain most of the week}.  My stress level was unbearable.  I felt like I was loosing my mind.  Not a good day at all.  Yet, it's in these chaotic, out of control moments that God chooses to sprinkle hope over what seems to be hopeless.

#1:  Ongoing blood sugar issue:  My blood sugars have been running extremely high for quite some time now.  No matter what I do, they're high.  This has me very concerned.  When I saw my nutritionist on the 12th, we talked about me possibly going back on medication {which had me very upset}.  Yesterday, after much research, my nutritionist suggested two natural supplements for me to try.  I started taking them yesterday.  I'm hoping they work in lowering these sugar numbers so I don't have to go back on medication, and can have that issue behind me.  A Sprinkle of Hope.

#2:  Ongoing pain and worsening symptoms:  My nutritionist feels, based on my symptoms and their progression, without a doubt that I have Lyme's.  The issue has been the cost associated with seeing a specialist, getting the testing done and subsequent treatment.  None of these specialists take insurance.  We will have to pay everything out of pocket.  My nutritionist was working hard at trying to find a back door for me to at least get the test so we would know for sure one way or another.  That has proven unsuccessful.  Late yesterday, while talking with my mother during a meltdown {just keeping it real}, at her suggestion, I decided that I need to just bite the bullet, make the appointment with the specialist and trust God to supply the funds for the appointment(s), testing and whatever treatment is necessary.  I called the specialist today, and to my surprise, was able to get an appointment on October 4th!  During that appointment, the doctor will determine what blood work is necessary, and will draw the blood that day.  I should hopefully have results by early November.  A Sprinkle of Hope.

{B-R-E-A-T-E}

My body is so weary and worn.  My soul is downcast and parched.  I feel like a broken, hot mess.

It is here, though, in this weary, worn, downcast, parched, broken, hot mess that God chose to meet me.

I am humbled.

I am in awe.

I am grateful.

I am drenched with Sprinkles of Hope!