I'm still batting ongoing full body pain. Since starting this program in December 2016, my pain level has shifted from "Oppressive...how am I going to continue to live like this" to "Okay...I can tolerate this". Even though the pain level has shifted, I'm still in pain 24/7. The truth of the matter is, I'm doing this entire process to be out of pain...and I'm no where near that and I'm not okay with that. After sharing that with Dr. C, he suggested last week that I restart the detox that I didn't finish. I stopped it mid-February because he thought that my body wasn't handling it well. He felt that I should be able to tolerate it better this time around {since I'm almost 2 more months into the program}, and that the detox will aid in getting the rest of the toxins out of my body that could be causing the continued pain I'm in.
Five days into the detox {on Monday}, I started experiencing some symptoms. Brain fog. Slight headache. Exhausted. No energy. Elevated full body pain.
I reached out to Dr. C yesterday and made the statement, "I'm hoping that the increase in pain is the detox working." To which he responded, "Yes, it can certainly be a healing crisis." I then shared with him that the difference in my mind this time is that I know why there's an increase in symptoms, and I've already purposed in my mind and heart that I will not plow through the pain {like the last time}. I plan on resting when I need to and will take better care of myself during this detoxing time. After I shared those thoughts with Dr. C, and he responded, "Yes, sleep and rest a lot". Which I did yesterday because I just couldn't go any more. I actually napped {which I haven't done in ages}, and went to bed early and slept through the night.
This morning I woke up feeling worse than yesterday. I feel very run down and am literally hurting from head to toe. I shared with Dr. C this morning that even though the pain and fatigue are high, I really want to see this detox through. I'm hoping that at the end of it {the detox} not only will the toxins be flushed out of my system but this pain will be, too. I asked him if he felt that was a reasonable statement. He responded by saying, "Progressive thinking, yes. Toxins leave but part of pain is the body repairing toxin damage." To which I responded, "That makes perfect sense. I'm going to ride this wave out and hang in there as long as I can. My goal is getting out of this pain. I'll do whatever I have to do to achieve that."
I've been committed to this for 149 days, and will continue to stay committed. No compromise. No excuses. I will see this process through to the end...the end of my pain!!!!
H.O.P.E. = Hold On Pain Ends
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