I wanted to get this post out yesterday, but I just couldn't get it together. I so wish I could start this blog post by saying "Wow! I feel so much better!" Unfortunately, that isn't the case. It's really been a rough 2+ weeks. Between battling this oppressive pain and brain fog, and then finding out that I've lost two people in the last 5 days to cancer...my dear Aunt Suellen {she's one of my most favorite people on the planet; whom I deeply love and respect...I'm heartbroken}; and, my friend from high school, Diane. Right at this moment...I'm so sad...hurting...weary...worn...tired.
*sigh*
So, last Monday (2/13) I saw my nutritionist, Dr. C. He felt that this pain and brain fog is because of the aggressive detox he had me on. He had me stop the detox shake and start a natural pain blocker/anti-inflammatory called "Kaprex". I was supposed to do that for a week and contact them Monday (2/20).
The pain and brain fog was so bad last week that by Friday (2/17) I emailed them to let them know that I didn't feel better at all. I heard from Dr. C. Monday (2/20) morning, and he said that he still feels that this is my body adjusting to all that is going on, and because of the incredible amount of inflammation in my body. He's going to have me do a stronger natural supplement for pain and inflammation. He had to order this supplement, so I'm still waiting to hear back from him as to when I can go pick it up. Hopefully that will be today or tomorrow.
Dr. C. reiterated many times that, even though it doesn't seem like it or feel like it, my body is healing. He reminded me that healing hurts, I didn't get this way overnight, hang in there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Dr. C. then asked me what I would normally do for the pain. I told him that I would take a Percocet. He asked when the last time I took it was. I told him the 10th or 11th. He said, "Please take the Percocet...for now. You don't need to be living in this pain until we can get you over this stage."
I'm in a ton of pain. Waiting for answers. Waiting for relief. This has been the cycle for almost five years now. *tears*
Lord, can I get off this merry-go-round? Would You stop this cycle and bring sweet relief? Would You heal my weary, broken body and refresh my soul? Would You open my eyes, heart and mind to what You're trying to teach me through all this? Would You strengthen me and bless me with peace as I endure and wait? May it be as I requested according to Your perfect plan and will for my life. Amen.
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